Have you ever liked something so much that it became required for your life to go on, or for you to feel good about life?
It's a funny thing.
We start out liking something. We may notice when when we do something or when we have something we feel better in someway. We then create a desire or wanting for this thing in our life. I think that's great, but for me this wanting, this desire then becomes something more. If I don't do it I then become unhappy, it's now required for my happiness. I may even judge myself that if I didn't do or get it then I'm a bad person.
Rubbish, complete and utter rubbish I say.
Here's an example:
I set my alarm and got up and meditated and prayed for a few minutes then sat under my new "happy lamp" (daylight bulb) and read scriptures. I then went and played with Ezra in his playroom for a while, then Micah wanted some daddy time so we played trains for a bit, then showered and family prayer, kiss the kids, make out with my wife, grab my breakfast and lunch I packed last night and catch my train then ride my bike from the station to work. A really picture perfect morning.
Now let's look at Wednesday. I did the shower and the train parts of that, forgot my key so no bike, forgot my badge to get into the office. I felt crappy about my morning, and in fact I judged it to be a bad morning, and I went so far as to think I must be a bad person. Typing that now it's pretty obvious to me what nonsense this is, but in that moment I was wrapped up in guilt and unhappiness.
I think it's great to do things that make you happy and feel good, that put you on the path that you want to be in your life, but don't let those times that you don't do it create something awful.
To use another analogy: have you ever had a favorite topping for cereal or maybe ice cream? I know that I really enjoy oatmeal with real melted butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon. What if one day we've run out of butter, and only have margarine. I turn up my nose at the margarine and carry on with the two other ingredients. I could choose to either be bitter that we don't have any, become bitter, ask myself why my wife can't just get me the things I NEED, or I can eat what I have notice hey, this could be better, and maybe write a note for myself to buy some butter on my way home or maybe ask my wife to do so next time she does.
It's like I think that unless I get unhappy about not having something then I think I won't change it. Unhappiness is a good motivator, no doubt about it, but is it the best one? Will it help in the long term?
What are the things you beat yourself up about if you don't do or have?
What are the things that make you happy?
