Why do you go to church?

Today we had an interesting discussion during our priesthood meeting (i.e.our men's group at church because each of us holds the priesthood).  We talked about the talk Elder Niel L Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave to the church last October called Never Leave Him.

There are two major "warning signs" that he talks about: offended or ashamed.
I'll definitely recommend that you read the talk, listen to it, or watch the video for yourself, but a few thoughts came up for me when we were talking about it from my own experience.
First of all is that we can only be offended if we choose to be.  In English it is quite natural for one to say that "she offended me" or "that was rather offensive" but in reality the only way one can be offended is by choosing to take offence.  This does mean, nor would I advocate that we can just go around and say whatever we would like not matter how crude, crass, unkind, or insensitive to people, but it does mean that when someone says something that may initially rub you the wrong way you can either let it bother you and become offended, or you can choose to let it go.
I have a friend that, God bless them, has tried to let people people said or did be a reason for them not to come back to church.  I said to that person, and I say to you, dear reader, why do you go to church?
If you only go because people are nice to you and say kind things to you it will only be so long until someone says something that is rude or insensitive.  Perhaps you may think that this is a bit bold, but it is the case.  No one is perfect.  There may be a lot of people at church who are trying to be better people, follow Christ, repent etc, but none are perfect.  There may even be some people who just like to go, enjoy it, and aren't really actively trying to become better people.  I don't know, I'm not in charge of assessing such things, but it seems very possible. In any case I can guarantee that there will come a time that some will say or do something mean, rude, or insensitive.  It will most likely not be intentional, though it it may be.
Whatever it may be what will not coming back to church permanently hurt that other person, the body of the church in general, or your particular ward (congregation)? NO, it will not.
You may be missed by some, but even if you're not missed by anyone and who will it hurt the most?
Only you, should you choose to stay away.
Again I'll ask, do you go to church only if people are kind and nice?
Do you go to church only if people behave themselves and help your children in the way you want them to?
Do you go to church only if the Bishop (pastor) says thank you for your service?
Do you go to church only if the Relief Society (women's group) president seeks out your help for the next activity?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, I do not condemn you, but it will let you know something about yourself. You can choose to stay that way, or change is possible.
If you don't know why you go to church then perhaps you should ask yourself that question in a serious and considered way.
Phrased another way: will you let someone else stop you from going? Will you let fear of "what people might say" keep you away?  Will you let what someone else says or does control whether you worship, commune, praise, or covenant with God? If so then it's a good thing to know about yourself.  It's a good indicator of how things work for you in your spiritual path, at least right now.

I don't go to church because I love the people who are there and want to talk with them 24/7.  It' a plus to me that I do love them.
I don't go to church because I expect to be treated kindly or well. It's a plus that in my experience that does happen 98% of the time.
I don't go to church because of that crazy old lady who smells a bit funny to me and says strange things, but I have to admit I find it at least somewhat entertaining or annoying depending on the circumstances. I'm not going to let her stop me from going though.
I don't go to church because I'm perfect, or even that good of a person sometimes. I go because I know it's the right thing, I want to go, I want to be a better person.  I want to get to the place in my life where when I take the sacrament (communion) it's like being baptized, and at least for that moment I'm perfect in Christ and perhaps that might last more than a few seconds.

Learning to focus-2 examples

One of the things I've noticed about myself is that I can get distracted rather easily, or that I have a hard time focusing on something for an extended period of time, let's say more than 15 minutes or so.  I also noticed that much like my autistic son that I enjoy routine, and when that routine is upset I can get inordinately upset or distracted about that.

My routine on the way to work during the winter involves a train ride from my house in Best to Eindhoven and then a 4.4km (2.7 mile) ride down to the High Tech Campus
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When the weather is really bad I take the bus, otherwise I ride my bike  and lock  it up in the fietskellar (the underground bike storage) beneath the station (It's totally worth paying €13/mo to keep it safe from theft and dry).
Today as I was heading down the stairs to get my bike I looked for my bike key only to find I had not put my bike key back into my change purse.  I flashed back to seeing my key on my dresser, but because I have several I assumed it was another one.  Which reminds me I really need to put a key in my backpack again so I have a backup... ok added to my to-do list.. and moving on.
I realized I would need to take the bus.  The bus takes the same amount of transit time (more or less) but then I don't get to exercise or enjoy the fresh air, and I would have to wait 10 mins for it to leave. I started to feel anxious about my writing schedule for the day getting messed up. What was I going to do? Maybe my whole day would be ruined by this?  I felt bad because I would also be spending money on the bus that was avoidable "if only I had remembered."
I paused and thought, "what should I do?"
I then remembered that I could rent a bike for about what it costs to ride the bus both ways and while it would cost me some money it wouldn't cost me any extra time and I would enjoy this supremely wonderful sunshine we've enjoyed for the last two days in the middle of February.  I was somewhat comforted by the fact that this isn't cash out of my pocket but rather billed to my bank account monthly and it wouldn't happen  for 4 weeks.
By simply pausing to think about alternatives I was able to find something that worked. Even if this was not the case, in reflection now I can see that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
As I rode to work I was again troubled about "all the stuff I had to do" today, what would I do first? Would it all get done? I then remembered quite naturally that I had written out every single project I was working on as part of my process (based largely on Getting Things Done or GTD).  Feeling uptight again I thought I'll have to review my project tracker to see exactly what it is I should be working on, then I reminded myself I already knew.  In the mornings I write, first on priority projects then blogging or other things, and I knew which two things need to be written this week.
In due course I got to my desk and, set up my laptop and was faced with where I had left my computer last, witch email and all kinds of things open. Dealing with email first thing in the mornings kills productivity for me, and most people. I recommend against it. I had one tab open about something I knew needed some follow up, so I quickly copied the URL and dropped that into a task in outlook and closed up all the things that could be distracting for me, and opened up one of my documents I'm working on.  As I write I come to natural lulls in the pace.  I try to use those lulls to take care of my needs so as to write consistently when I'm in my state of flow.  If while I'm writing I all-of-a-sudden think of something I should do, an email I should send, or start feeling hungry or run out of water, I quickly think about if I am still in the writing zone. Often I am, and can gently remind myself that writing is one of the most important things I can do each day and getting these things written is what I should do.  Also "no email before 11am" works wonders for me. So I simply go back to writing.  If the need is urgent like I need to hit the bathroom then I break immediately.  If I'm out of the zone I take a quick break to take care of myself, stretch etc and then back to work. I found myself at least a few times back into facebook or email for a moment, my first impulse was to beat up on myself for such.  Instead though it was so easy to just go back to writing because I was clear about what I needed to get done.  It was time to execute, to do the things I needed to do "ship" as Seth Godin says, and by knowing what was really important I am able to slip right back into doing it.

I guess I'm learning what it takes for me to do focus, and writing about it here is helps me be reflective and by bring reflective I can learn about how I work (self studentship).  I hope as well by sharing how I work you may gain some insights or pick up a strategy that may work for you.

Oh and while I'm not trying to hawk books, some of these books especially the one below really have helped, so why not link to them?